(Source: srsfunny, via di-classe)

Anonymous:
Can you tell the roach story again? 😂😂

myloveff:

igotbars4days:

thefanfichelp:

igotbars4days:

thetarget-ff:

thefanfichelp:

So this has been sitting in my inbox for 2 days and I’ve been trying to figure out who is the person that wants to bring back up this traumatic experience for me. And then putting the two laughing emojis after almost made me delete it but here’s the story in full detail.

So it was towards the end of the school year and this girl who I barely talk to asked me to come to her sleepover. I’m like sure, whatever, I don’t have nothing to do. Looking back I was like that girl that stupid girl that gets slaughtered in the scary movies. Old Xia was stupid and naive. But that was nothing compared to what was coming. So the weekend comes and I go to her house and it’s a cute little house but I came late so I couldn’t take the tour so I just go up to her room.


I’m getting emotional.

Fast forward 2 hours later and they’re talking and I’m starting to realize exactly why I don’t talk to her. So I get on tumblr and entertain myself and from the corner of my eye something moves and I swear my heart stopped for a couple of seconds. I turn my head slowl and the ugly, brown, crumb snatching, antenna having, disrepectful ass roach was running a race across the wall and to the back of the TV. So in my head I’m like

But because I don’t want to be rude I sit there and quickly inform my tumblr followers what’s going on but they think it’s a joke so I found out that I have no real friends on tumblr and I’m all on my own out in the roach infested home. So my eyes are roaming all aorund the room like I ain’t got no control over em and then just when I’m about to relax a little bit a roach is at a stand still on the wall, like the thing is posing and daring me to say it’s there. So I’m practicing my breathing exercises and one of the girls scream and point to it and I’m thinking that God done sent this young lady down to be my voice when I didn’t have one. Now everyone’s screaming and jumping back and I’m able to release everything I’ve been holding in so I scream like somebody is scalping me or better yet like there’s a damn roach on the wall posing for animal crackers.

So the owner of the house looks at us and smacks her teeth. I don’t think you heard me, SHE SMACKED HER TEETH. Then she grabs a flip flop from under the bed and walked over to the roach and hits it. I’ve never been so happy to see something stop breathing in all my life.  She didn’t clean it up so we’re there looking at the thing on the floor and the stain on the wall. She tosses the flip flop towards us like it’s funny and I swear I almost fought her. My subconscious sounded like Celie and said "beat her"  But I refrained and a girl said she wasn’t staying in the room so the girl moves us to the livingroom, leaving her damn roch in the room. She was probably going to come back and try to revive it.

But anyway, I’m paranoid now, sitting on the couch like:

And I get back on tumblr to tell y’all about the foolishness and I mistake y’all for being there for me once again and was dissapointed. So I’m just scrolling and thing about how I’m going to get out the house cause my mama said she wasn’t coming until the morning. All the while I’m talking to y’all and answering questions she says to me…

"You better get off your phone, they’re attracted to the light"

BITCH! I’m getting mad all over again. When I tell you I wanted to strangle her. She specialized in roaches! She must’ve been a roach in her former life. She’s been living with them for so long that they provided her with a list of rules! She had ways of getting them to come to her! They made her turn off herphone like they paid bills. I shut off my phone though cause mama ain’t raise no fool. I couldn’t sleep and in the middle of the night I look on tumblr and someone left in my inbox

"Watch out for your ears."

Whoever the hell you were needs your ass whooped cause I was slapping my ears and plugging my nose all night. As soon as a single ray of light appeared in the window I called my mama and hightailed my ass out of there. When I got to my house I was so thankful that my mama was clean and she cared. I love my mom y;all. She clean. She clean. She don’t play that and for that I’m forever greatful.

There. That’s the story.

Don’t. Ever. Bring. It. Up. Again.

hajkhfkjfkjhakj lmaoooo

Awww I’m here for you 😣

😄 thank you, Love

You better than me I would’ve left as soon as I saw the roach or sat outside on the porch till it was time to go 😂

I’m screaming 😂😂😂

Chloe Moretz for Allure magazine [September 2014]

(Source: ms-moretz, via lipstick-lust)

Timestamp: 1409544343

Chloe Moretz for Allure magazine [September 2014]

(Source: ms-moretz, via lipstick-lust)

brainbr0ken:

yungtrvplordian:

ladiosanegra:

It’s true.

I thought I was the only that thought this

😩😂😂

(via mustyballsack)

Timestamp: 1409544332

brainbr0ken:

yungtrvplordian:

ladiosanegra:

It’s true.

I thought I was the only that thought this

😩😂😂

(via mustyballsack)

(Source: baw-famous, via gaykinq)

Anonymous:
Us white guys (usually) don't have game cause our women are as basic as making a glass of water

physicalvocalist:

fallen-angel-in-the-tardis:

lembas-and-cram:

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

rendezvousramen:

addictedtopunsandpizza:

macaronivevo:

jesuschristvevo:

is it data or data

is it route or route

is it caramel or caramel

is it either or either

is it read or read

is it lead or lead

Maybe its Maybelline

I hate how any English speaker knows exactly what’s happening here.

(via positive--th0ughts)

rastafarifit:

I’ve been there brother

Lmao this show man, love it.

(Source: phatwemin, via littlemisslex)

Timestamp: 1409511628

rastafarifit:

I’ve been there brother

Lmao this show man, love it.

(Source: phatwemin, via littlemisslex)